I was often told that I have a beautiful voice. We all like to believe that we sound good but the final test comes when more people listen and give you the honest feedback.
I remember when I was in school and the music teacher made a selection for the choir. Everybody was allowed to try. The procedure was quite embarassing at that time, consisting in making every child stand up in front of the class and sing a note. Or something. For a shy girl like me it was dreadful. But still I had the classical childish dream to sing. So I stood up. I felt the redness in my cheeks like a burning flame. Red as a chilly pepper, I started to sing a note, going as high as I could. The teacher stopped me at one point saying:alright, this is so high, you can stop. You'll be a soprano voice in the choir.
It was fun to sing in that group. Somehow being selected made you feel special, like you belong to a particular class of gifted kids. Being in that group, even if it did not last long, helped me with my shyness and with being more open.
I would have liked to become a singer. I dare any adult to say that this dream hasn't crossed their mind at least once in their lifetime. Maybe for girls it is more prevalent than for boys. Maybe boys have dreams like being a pilot, a race driver, a bohemian rebel artist, a rockstar.
I would have loved to be a singer, I admit. Actually I think that it is easier to be whatever you want to be now, as the rise of the internet can give you access to a whole world. You just have to create, click upload and wait. Wait for those confirmations that you are good or that you terribly suck at it. Either way, you will be seen.
I haven't tried to record myself singing yet but I definetely recorded my voice many times. There is something alluring in recording yourself and playing it back, listening for the way you spoke , the tone of your voice, the mistakes you have made.
As I managed to move out I gained the confidence to show myself and my talents more as I am no longer afraid that if I get too close to people they will ask me where do you live? and that will be the end of it, the confirmation that I have to get back in my shell of shame. Now I feel more free to interact as a normal person, who has nothing to hide anymore. It feels good as it feels new.
I had the idea of recording kids' stories for quite a while. I wanted to see how I sound and if I feel good doing it. I don't want to invest my time in something I do not like.
The first clip was filmed amateur style in my beauty salon, reading a little short story from a book about survival. I decided to record this in my native language to see how it sounds. Curious to see how I sound in romanian? Click click lol
The feedback from the people I have send it to was positive so I continued with a longer story, written by one of the classics of romanian literature: Ion Creanga.
I felt in my element reading the stories. I can understand now why some people prefer to work in a radio station than on TV. Not having to show your face all the time , worrying if your hair looks good or if you have red lipstick on your teeth gives you more energy to focus on the content.
I would have liked to become a singer. I would have liked to be a radio host. I can check both. But what is actually cool is that both dreams are achievable in these times. We are living the best times now because we have the right channels to promote ourselves. We don't necessarily need someone to squeeze the talent out of us and put it on display, we can do this ourselves and create our own content.
I want my MTV.
I think of Hive, Youtube, Twitch and a myriad of other platforms as our own MTV. It is up to us to broaden our horizons and make the courage to try to see how much we can do with the gifts that God has given us. Each person has a unique set of gifts. It is deeply buried under parental disapproval, adulthood , procrastination and self-doubt.
Who knows? Maybe I'll record a song. Maybe I will record fairytales. Maybe I will narrate entire books. The world is our oyster and the only limits that we have are the ones that we put ourselves, thinking that dreaming and exploring have an expiration date. They don't. Dreaming is for free, so why not dream a bigger dream?