“Dinner with the president or receive a lot of money” is a question often posed for banter on social media. The personality is switched up depending on the target audience it's directed at but it's usually the same connotation...Dinner with someone who can offer you a chance, an opportunity that could change your life, or the money upfront.
As a dreamer I have often pondered the question, constantly leaning towards the dinner because I’m a foodie and I believe in the importance of familiarising one’s self with the people that can get you where you want to be in life.
Unfortunately, when the day came when I had to make the choice, the question changed.
Mr. Jide was a music executive of high repute, I had spent months peddling my music to his subordinates never actually imagining that I would get a chance to meet with the man himself, So when my manager told me she had secured me an invite to perform at his birthday dinner I was both thrilled and struck with bone-rattling fear.
“They’re going to be a lot of industry people there so I’m thinking you give him a special performance to celebrate his birthday and then we can pique his interest and see if that can lead to conversations about partnerships.” My manager Remi said to me, her hands casually guiding the car through the gridlock on the third mainland bridge.
She had built a career in artist management that spanned over a decade and I was the smallest act she had ever managed, so if she said a performance was the way to go then who was I to argue?
“We need to find you a crazy costume, so that once you enter and start performing all eyes are on you,” she said.
I knew my idea of crazy and hers were never the same but she had just gotten me the opportunity of a lifetime, who was I to say no?
The day finally arrived and I was doing everything in my power to calm my nerves, I had spent the week leading up to the event fighting with everyone from the stylist she sent who kept proposing atrocious outfits to the choreographer who couldn’t seem to understand that I was only given a few minutes as a courtesy to her and I would rather spend that time showing off my abilities as an artist than disgracing my lineage with my nonexistent dance moves. I knew that this birthday dinner would either be the big break I needed to find my place in the industry or mark me as unworthy in the eyes of the entire industry.
As we drove into the Venue I couldn’t help the wave of emotions that flooded my entire being, everyone who was anyone was present, it was indeed a feast for the creme de la creme of the Nigerian music industry.
“There’s Banky and Adesuwa, we should say hi after your performance, he is headlining next year and if you do well enough tonight it could position you to be included on the line up,” Remi said to me.
“That would be a dream come true” I responded, my heart beating faster than the kick drums on a drill beat.
“Where is Ruth and your costume? You need to change and wait in the green room until it is time to perform” She said to me as she slid the car into a parking spot.
I knew better than to tell her that I had told her favorite stylist that I would rather show up to the performance in my “birthday suit” than go out in front of all those people in a fuzzy rabbit costume. “They wouldn’t take me seriously after that” I had told her when she showed me the fur-covered extremely large white playsuit that she had designed for my performance.
“You may just have to show up in your birthday suit” she had responded furiously stuffing her “masterpiece” into her bags…I had laughed and played it off, little did I know she was serious.
30 minutes to the performance and I was having a panic attack that only became worse with each passing moment, I was in a robe waiting for the stylist to show up with my outfit for the performance, begging God and all my ancestors that whatever she had come up with as an alternative was even mildly better than the rabbit suit, People walked into the green room to offer snacks and words of encouragement but my mind was conjuring all the worst case scenarios the night could end in. In hindsight, I should have been a lot kinder to Rita and her bunny outfit but I was trying to be taken seriously as an artist, I wanted people to pay attention to my art and not the clothes I had on, I didn’t want to be a gimmick.
“You’re on in 15,” a showrunner said to me from the door, “would you like anything before you go up?”
“I’m good” I responded my voice shaking from anxiety. Five minutes later my manager walked in holding a plate of small chops in very high spirits,
“I have been bragging to everyone out there about my artist and prepping them for the conversations afterward, don’t blow this”
At that moment I realized that if I had been offered a choice between attending the dinner as a guest and getting to feast on the finest cuisine and wine and dine with the other guest, I would have gladly chosen that over the path I was currently on. Granted my social skills weren’t all that but it had to be better than panicking about a 5-minute set whilst earnestly calling my stylist who was still not picking up.
“Why aren’t you dressed yet? Where is Rita ?” She asked reaching for her phone immediately.
“I have been trying to call her but I think she’s driving because she’s not picking up”
I responded, sweat dripping down my face even under the heavy air conditioning.
“Maybe I should just perform in what I wore here?” I asked it was a simple white shirt and black jeans but it wasn’t as bad as the bunny suit and I would be more comfortable in it anyways.
“No, the outfit is as important as the performance!!! You have to exude confidence and rockstar and you cannot do it in that!!! I thought you and Rita already sorted this out??! I trusted you to handle this!!!. She screeched at me wringing her hands in frustration.
“We are ready for you” the showrunner reappeared eyeing me up and down, “ Oh, is this what you’re going for? Like Dbanj at the Headies awards back in the day?” She said gesturing at my robe.
“Exactly” Remi interjected before I could respond, “ We are right behind you”
No words can describe the look on my face, I was supposed to go out in front of all those people in a robe and a speedo? This was my karma for dismissing Rita’s bunny suit.
“Look, you are going out there and you are putting on a show… I don’t care whether this was the plan or not, it is what it is” she said grabbing my shoulders and shaking me for good measure.
As I walked towards the stage, I wondered if 16-year-old me who would have given anything to be at such a feast and given such an opportunity, would have minded showing up as the court jester.
Looking back, I had an amazing time and everyone else did too.
P.s I own the rights to these pictures, and have the permission of the other people in them to share them.