“You know I’m always so happy you come with me to classes right?” I asked a beaming Jonathan.
“Yeah, Cassie. I know. And I’m always happy to accompany you.”
“It’s just a shame that I can’t.-”
Ow!
A crumpled paper had hit me square in the face.
“Quit talking to yourself, freak,” a girl called out.
I turned to see a dozen pairs of eyes zero at me in consternation and mockery and pity.
“What’s your deal anyway?” Sally, another girl asked. “You just keep doing that. Seriously, girl, you’re crazy! And you need help. There’s literally no one there.”
“There is!” I snapped. “He’s right there.” I pointed to the space beside me where Jonathan had been. He wasn’t there anymore. But even if he had been, how would they see him? I turned back to meet the horrified faces of my classmates.
“GET. HELP. FREAK.” Sally shrieked, injecting her voice with all the theatrics in the book.
“Excuse me.” I picked up my books and ran out of the class. And out of the school. School was almost over anyway. Might as well ditch those remaining agonising minutes. I ran till I felt a sharp pain in my ribs. I lowered myself to a park bench and wheezed. They wouldn’t understand even if I explained it to them. They were too stuck in their vain world to believe in the existence of ghosts. And that my best friend for the past two years was a ghost.
I wasn’t a freak. Johnathan was as real to me as the next person. I can’t exactly tell how or why I started seeing him. I just know that the week after my dad died, he appeared in my room. And just by saying, “You know you look ugly when you cry, right?” to my blotched face, instead of the patronising statements I’d been getting all week, and I just knew he’d be my best friend. And that, he became.
We’d been through everything together. At least he’d helped me through it all. The tragic death of my father, the change of my mother from a vibrant woman to a cold, detached stranger, that wanted nothing to do with her seventeen-year-old daughter and preferred to lock herself for hours on end in the study. I hardly saw my mom anymore. And I almost blamed myself for it and for Dad’s death too. That maybe, if I’d been a better daughter, he wouldn’t have died and mom wouldn’t have constantly fixed me with cold eyes, on the few times I saw her, that is.
But Jonathan had shook me, literally, and told me that none of it was my fault. That the veiled taunts and snide looks people threw at me were because their weak personalities allowed that. He was my lifesaver, again, literally. I just wished he didn’t always run away.
“Hey Cass,” Jonathan’s warm hands touched my shoulder. Speak of the devil.
“You weren’t speaking.” His voice glinted with amusement. Did I also add that he could read my thoughts?
“Get out of my head, freak.” I snapped. But he chuckled in response. Arrogant arse. “Seriously Jonathan. I know they can’t see you but I can. And the fact that you just disappear at odd moments makes it look like I’m the weirdo they call me.” Tears threatened to fall but I canned them. “Anyways,” I moved on. “How far have you gone?”
For the past year, we’d been trying to turn Jonathan human. I wouldn’t have thought it possible if he hadn’t told me himself that it was. He was always real to me, but I wanted him to be real to everyone else.
“Yeah. They said they’d grant it to me. But on the night of the sixteenth.”
“Night of the sixteenth? That’s prom night.” I gasped in happiness.
“Yes, it is. And we’ll be able to waltz into that school in style.” It was finally happening. I was beyond elated and I counted the days patiently to that day.
The day came and I knew I looked dazzling in my silver, strapless gown. I’d knocked on the door of the study and told Mom from outside that it was my prom and if she’d love to see my dress. She opened it and gave me a once-over, those cold eyes fixing on me again. And then she grunted out something and shut the door in my face. I could have cried but the joy that Jon was becoming human blinded the heartbreak Mom was searing into me.
I waited at the entrance of the school where Jon and I had agreed to meet. I watched the others walk in with their partners. Some glanced at me, others just looked on their way. But I wasn’t fazed and simply waited for those warm hands on my shoulder that announce him. I waited out in the cold for Jonathan till the party was over and everyone milled to their vehicles where they headed to the various after-parties. Tears ran in torrents down my face as I sprinted home.
It’d been three weeks since I saw Jonathan. I’d rubbed my shoulders raw, the action that usually brought him in the past, and he never came. My ghost friend had ghosted me. I chuckled self-pityingly. The irony wasn’t lost on me. Suddenly, I felt the warm hands and I whirled in shock and anger to meet Jonathan’s apologetic face.
“I’m sorry Cass. They didn’t let me leave. I can’t become human. I’m so sorry for ghosting you.” He looked so sad that I couldn’t even be mad.
“It’s fine. I understand.”
“But...they gave me an option." My face lit up even as the crumbling words followed. "They want you to come with me. And if you don’t, I can’t come anymore.”
“What does that even mean? How can I leave everything and go with you to some spirit world?” I was aghast.
“Everything? Cass, you have nothing here. Your mom doesn’t even want you.”
“Don’t say that!” I screamed at him. “Don’t.”
“So you’re not coming with me?” he asked.
“I’m sorry Jon. I know I have nothing and my mom can’t stand the sight of me but I want to stay with her. I want to try.” I looked at Jonathan and saw a look he’d never directed at me before. Pity.
I turned my back on him and laid on the bed, back facing him. I don’t know when I slept off but when I woke up, he was gone. And I knew I’d never see him again. I closed my eyes and hoped my decision was worth it.
Jhymi🖤
