It's been three days since my mother has been pleading with me to reconsider my stance of maintaining the status quo with respect to my relationship with my dad.
"Mike, you need to give me a positive response before I go. He is your dad and the situation he is now is not befitting of your status."
"Mum... He neglected me when I needed him most. I haven't done anything wrong. If I am to take every experience into consideration, the monthly stipends to him wouldn't have been initiated and sustained by me."
"I know my son." She said as she stood up and moved towards where I was sitting in the living room. "My son, if you want to operate the rule of an eye for an eye, everyone would go blind. You need to forgive." I felt my mum's tender touch on my shoulder. I looked up and the eye contact brought back the memory of my growing up - the love, the support and the sacrifice.
I was visualizing everything and was lost in the thoughts when I heard my mum say, "I am on my knees, assist your father." Abomination, I screamed as I held her arms and raised her from the kneeling position. Then I remembered the promise that I made to her when she was insulted by my highschool teacher.
I was sent home due to non-payment of school fees and in her characteristic manner, she followed me to the school to plead with the authority to give her a little time to raise the money. After pleading with the school bursar in this regard, the bursar, a middle aged woman, left a comment that hit my young heart.
"We are not responsible for your irresponsible husband. This is not a charity school. If others are debtors like you, the school would cease to exist."
My mum endured the insult just to have me allowed to join others to write examinations. On second thought, the bursar was right. My dad didn't care about his family. Education of his only child wasn't in his agenda.
I promised her that day that I would forever do everything within my power to make her happy.
"I will be coming to assess the situation during the weekend." I promised her.
"That's my son. May you continue to excel. God will be with you in all you do..." For another five minutes, my mum continued to shower prayers on me. A perfect reminder of her firm guidance physically and spiritually while I was growing up.
The previous day, she explained the situation of my dad to me. The house that he spent his career building at the expense of my education was in ruins. A heavy downpour had destroyed what was left of the dilapidated structure. They were accomodated in a neighbor's house and that had been a concern to my mother.
Everything about the house reminded me of my father's wrong priority. Being the only child, I had expected my father to support my education but he never did. I remember a day that my mother engaged him on why he never showed concern for my education.
"This attitude of yours will come back to haunt you. The future of our son and even our old age could only be secured by educating this boy."
"Woman, I can't retire home without a roof to my head. Mike already met a profession in my hand. Farming is our culture, he will do better than me in it. For now, my attention is to complete my house. It's still his own anyway." He was sipping palm wine from a calabash cup with a cigarette in his left hand. "Don't disturb me please," he concluded.
"You will regret your actions at old age." My mum insisted.
He looked in her direction and released the smoke gathered in his mouth like a chimney. He hissed and picked up his calabash.
The struggle to get me educated became that of my mum alone. I severed my relationship with my dad the day that I requested assistance for school fees from him when I was about to register as a fresh university student.
"I don't have money. You can see that work on our house stopped in the past one year. I am strategizing on how to get money to complete it."
I nearly lost my university admission. My mum bailed me out by taking loans from multiple sources to cater for my needs.
To my surprise, carpenters started a multi-thousand Naira project of roofing my dad's house the following day. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I vowed never to have anything to do with him.
Throughout my university education and working career that spanned through 10 years, I never wanted to see him. My mum was under the same roof with him and that made it inevitable for me to be visiting them. I considered him for a token monthly while sending money to my mum. Well, I never slept in the house for a day. I maintained that vow.
The following weekend, I traveled home to assess the situation as promised.
I was welcomed by my mum in a neighboring house where they were taking refuge. I was discussing with my mum when my dad walked up to us. He was in a sober mood.
"Good evening dad," I greeted.
He barely responded when he went into pleading for forgiveness.
"I have wronged you. I was foolish in my priority. I plead with you to forgive me." He was shedding tears while regretting his past actions. "I deserve whatever treatment you planned to mete out to me." I only plead that you see reason to forgive my wickedness."
I wasn't there to forgive him. I only went there for the sake of my mother.
"I am not here for this." I walked away. My mum held my leg.
"I know that it's not an easy request but find a place in your heart to forgive your father." I turned back and looked at my mum and again, I raised her up and hugged her.
My mum was like an idol. Instead of offending her, I can forgive a thousand of enemies by her wish or command.
"If you choose to join dad in his decision those days, I wouldn't have become what I am today. Thank you for being different. For your sake, I forgive him." I declared while we all hugged one another.
We immediately went to the dilapidated house. All that was visible was the ruins of my father's lifelong ambition. I looked at the ruins and shook my head.
"Is this worth the education of your only child?" I asked.
"I know how you feel. Remember you've forgiven your father." My mum responded.
I took responsibility for the rebuilding of the house for my parents. My dad couldn't hide his joy as he threw himself over me with tears. They were grateful for it.