Warning⚠️⚠️⚠️
If you cannot keep a secret do not proceed
I repeat…If you cannot keep a secret, do not proceed.
If you are at this point, it means you are capable of zipping your lips, so let me tell you my secret…..
I lived a cliche life, like the one we read about in our romantic novels. The one where the girl falls hopelessly in love with her brother's best friend and then the story proceeds from there, they encounter a little turbulence and things work out in the end.
Yes,my story was cliche, but it didn't exactly go happily ever after.
The first time I heard his name, I was intrigued. I didn't know what it was but I wanted to know everything about him.
I've written enough stories to tell that I wasn't the most outspoken girl a few years back. I was really quiet and could never find the voice to speak out.
I met him and my tongue was tied as usual. Anytime I saw him, I felt a weird kind of rush and I honestly didn't understand what it was.
As the years flew by, I grew into myself and I was able to start talking out.
I remember the exact moment it started. I posted a picture of myself. Something I rarely ever did and he replied with, "You should smile more often".
Sigh
I was almost a goner. It started from there. We started talking more. We had a lot in common ranging from the type of novels we read to our taste in music. He introduced me to rap and even though I didn't fancy it all that much. I had to like it.
There was just something else, we never spoke to each other in public. Not even something as simple as a Hi.
Whatever we had, we kept it a secret. It wasn't like we were doing anything wrong.
On my part, I knew my brother wouldn't approve of it. His little sister hanging out with one of his best friends and on his part, he shouldn't be hanging out with his best friend's sister.
So the years progressed and so did our friendship, at this point. I had read almost all the books he had come in contact with. We stayed up talking about everything and nothing.
Up until this moment,if I told anyone just how close we were, they wouldn't believe it.
I tried to initiate a public conversation on a few occasions but he would always casually turn it down.
Then in secret, we would talk till eternity came.
Now I don't want anyone to get confused, we weren't in a relationship or anything.
Did I like him?.. Yes
Did I want to be in a relationship with him? No
Source
The part of not happy ever after is nearing.
The sad moment
My brother asked me to help him return something to his friend's house and I had to act like I had no clue where he lived and at that moment everything just felt so wrong.
I asked myself, "Why all the hiding?I wasn't doing anything wrong and I was old enough to be friends with whoever I wanted to".
That day I asked him a question, one that had the answer that ended everything, "Why can't we just talk in public?". He said that the thrill of being a secret was very nice. Like something that was forbidden and if it wasn't like that it wouldn't be interesting.
I knew I was done.
It had been like that for a long time and I won't lie and say I wasn't comfortable with it but something shifted when I had to lie to my brother.
That day was the last time I spoke to him.
We saw each other in public and the tables turned.
I was the one casually ending the conversation.
I didn't want to be secretive about it anymore but that was the only way he wanted it.
Sometimes, when my playlist is on shuffle, one of the rap songs he introduced to me pops up and I smile sadly because I do really miss him.
He was like my soul person.
If only he wanted to be more than a secret.
