"Don't you dare try to sell me a dog!" She shouted pointing his fingers accusingly at my face.
I like to think of myself as an experienced trader. At least I've been selling in this market for 6 years now.
My shop is well known and the customers, both new and old, constantly visit.
In my long time in these business, I've come across a variety of customers and I've managed to group the average customer into three categories:
The first is the humble inexperienced customer, who are blessings to a seller's day.
This type are typical tourists, who don't know the ways of the market nor know the haggling arts. The trick when dealing with this type of buyer is to simply make sure you set your first price just right.
The second are experienced market goer's or haggling experts. They are a seller's natural enemy and rival.
Everyday one meet, you know it's going to be a pricing duel, with no side willing to go down without a fight.
These buyers are well known in the market, so much so when one immediately enters the region, we buyers get alerted and then we start preparation.
The trick when dealing with them is simple. Make sure you set your stage well, don't mince your words and never ever back down.
The last are the crazed buyers. These ones are a seller's absolute nightmare. The cherry on top of a seller's already shitty day.
These buyers are over pompous folks who think they are haggling expert's when they are simply ignorant about and too stubborn to accept they are ignorant about the price.
Tricks when I'm dealing with these people is simply to stand firm and calm oneself so the seller (I), don't get over taken by the urge to give them a slap.
I stood calmly trying to figure out which category this particular couple fell in. The woman, who seemed like the main buyer here, which is usually the case, was the one with a finger in my face accusing me of trying to sell her a dog.
I looked at my wares, which actually were puppy food and toys and looked at them as though she tried to crack a joke.
The man who was whimsically looking at a toy bone must have noticed my confusion cause he explained.
"She meant you shouldn't try to lie to her."
I nodded my head as that statement made way more sense in relation to what she was talking about.
She held in her hand the particular good she wanted to buy from my shop.
A purple latex squeaky bouncy ball which was an all time favorite for dog owners.
"I came here last week and you told me the price was an already costly sum of One thousand five hundred Hugos."
I nodded my head in accordance with what she said.
"So what do you mean the price is three thousand Hugos now? That's literally double the price of last week."
"Yet that's the price Ma." I replied patiently, my mind thinking of simply dragging the ball away from her and sending her off on her merry way.
"You think we customers just draw up the money at home?" She asked in annoyance.
"If the ball's too expensive, let's simply get another toy." The man, God bless his soul, proposed. Still holding the bone he had been admiring.
"There are a lot of toys which are more unique and more friendly on the budget actually." I said, trying to build up on the man's proposal.
"Like that bone for example." I recommended pointing at the bone the man was holding."
"It's more durable, and yet it's going at a sales price of a thousand five hundred Hugos. Just the price which you had planned for." I said, smiling through gritted teeth at this annoyance of a customer.
"Yes, but I had planned that price for this ball!" She said waving the ball at my face.
My sales smile dimmed and I could feel my blood boil.
This woman was truly testing my patience.
She was well up there as one of the worst of category 3 type of customer's I had ever seen.
I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, counting to three, trying to quell my temper, then pass on their trouble and annoyance to another store that could handle them.
Before I opened my mouth to speak, the man came up and whispered to his wife's ears for some time.
I stood waiting as they discussed in hush tones then the man stepped up and the woman stepped back with a scowl on her face while glaring at me.
"Hey, so sorry about my wife there." The man said calmly. My eyes were still trained at the annoyance of a woman.
"We've had a long day looking for a toy for our new pup and her mind was just set on the ball." He explained calmly
I finally looked at the man as I heard a hint of an offer coming up.
"I've talked and managed to persuade her, we would be taking the bone instead, although what we have on hand is less than One Thousand Five Hundred." He said smiling.
I looked at him, trying to understand what was going on here.
"If he doesn't want to sell, let's just leave this rickety shop, dear." The crazy woman called at him.
"What price do you have in mind?" I asked, wanting to just get done with these people then close early and go home.
"Eight Hundred Hugos?" The man asked, with a tone that amateurly showed he had more than that but was trying to test the waters.
I smiled at him and he smiled back.
"A thousand Hugos." I said with an air of finality.
He thought for a while, seemingly making a few calculations in his head before bringing out the note.
I quickly collected the money, then packaged the bone for the couple.
"I can't believe you sold that bone for One Thousand Hugos" My neighbor and fellow pet items seller looked at me.
Indeed the bone's last price was One thousand five hundred Hugos, normally traders sell it at A Thousand Eight hundred or Two Thousand, but I was tired and simply just wanted them to leave and hopefully not come back.
Coincidentally, the next week I was free and decided to take a leisurely stroll around the market. I heard a commotion and while following it, I saw the couple at another shop pulling the same stunt they had pulled on me, managing to get two different goods at an insanely cheap price.
I decided to follow them around and watched in awe as they did the same skit again and again and again.
They had gone a full round, buying groceries, toys, clothes, shoes, jewelry all on crazy discounts that could kill a buyer.
Surprised was an understatement.
I followed them till they left the market, their arms full with produce that should amount to about Sixty Thousand Hugos yet they got at less than Twenty.
They got to their car, which looked very expensive and butlers came to help them offload and pack the goods into the trunk.
I stood watching this legal heist in crazed mix of awe and anger. My emotions were twisting into a knot in my stomach.
They pulled out and drove past me while I watched.
The man noticed me though, he lowered the window just before they passed so I could see the victorious smirk on his face.
The smirk a legendary haggling expert makes when he had perfectly won a pricing duel.
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