The Bundle Of Beans Diaries - Day 11 - Not All Rainbows And Sunshin...

Although the post is not about rainbows and sunshine, let's start this blog with a little ray of sunshine, miss Garbanzo. What a sweetheart!

Not all rainbows and sunshine

I considered leaving this part out of the diaries but in the end, it's my blog and part of the experience. If someone were to read this and feels this is about them, just take try to see it as feedback. As this is my blog, it's my way to vent about the situation so I can let it go.

The reality is that day 11 was a horrible day, probably one of the most stressful ones in the last 6 months of our lives. Fostering also comes with challenges and therefore this part belongs in the bundle of beans diaries as well. Let's rewind, the stress actually started on day 10 when the vet appointment took much longer than anticipated, and on top of that thanks to a message that was dropped in the foster family group by one of the people managing the many tasks that are part of the adoption process.

My mental state after the vet was: exhausted. This was partly because I had to assist in holding the kittens while they were shaved in the neck and tested by a blood sample taken from the vein in the neck. I didn't like it, but it had to be done. I wish I'd known, I was not prepared for this to happen. We decided to bring the kittens home, give them new food, water, and their meds for the evening and then relax a bit in the harbor for some food because the reality is that both of us were too drained to be in the kitchen. I have to say that sitting there did us all good, we had a good dinner and didn't have to worry about dishes afterward.

Guisante's transport to her forever home

After the vet appointment, Guisante's transport was set into motion as the kittens had their tests done (even though still positive for the parasite) and they received their green cards. She was going to be picked up on Friday morning and I'd hear more after this vet appointment, fair enough.

Then a message appeared in the foster family chat with a tag that I should pick up a water bottle for transport the next day at another foster home where we just went the other day to pick up food and probiotics. At this time I had missed most of my work days that week and I wanted to get back into the work routine now, not add even more hours of extra tasks and instructions that nobody asked if I had time for. This doesn't sit well with me as we just spent a big part of our evening at the vet. And I didn't agree to do more tasks the next day, I was going to focus on getting the house in order and work a bit again. Aka real life needed my attention.

I responded that I would not have time to do so as I had to get back to work. I didn't write, but thought to myself, didn't you know we needed a water bottle two days ago when we went to this same person? I could have taken it with me then. I don't like it when people aren't efficient and surely not when we, like the other foster families, offer our time and effort to take care of these kittens without being paid for our time. The organization of pick-ups and such should be smooth and not cause foster families extra stress or time they could have spent otherwise. We actually value our time and our evenings are for us to relax after being inside this apartment that's already getting hot during the day.

Don't get me wrong here, I"m not talking about taking care of the kittens in any way here, I'm purely talking about the numerous people that I had to send messages back and forward with for one simple transport and how time-consuming this was to deal with. If that happens without anyone's fault, so be it, but in this case, it was a lack of proper communication and just assuming people are able to do whatever you need them to do and taking into consideration that people have lives, businesses, and a family too. I seriously felt like a puppet that had to take orders from a handler. I don't like to be treated like that.

Although I know she knows this is not about her, I want to add that all of this was not on the lovely person who guided me from day 1 when we picked up the kittens. She has been amazing and I salute her for being so resilient that she can deal with this by herself while having so many cats of her own. I was not able to do it alone when I got sick. I needed the extra hands. You are a rockstar lady!

My personal limit was reached that day

As always, when something extremely mentally draining happens, I start to get pain in my body. The parts where I have injuries become a huge physical blockage and it can take me days to recover from this. When I feel this is coming, I have to cut ties with whoever is causing this and this is exactly what I did. I switched my phone to flight mode before I'd pay the price for not doing so the rest of the week.

Before I did, I started crying, I was extremely overwhelmed, and the emotions needed to get out. I bit my tongue all day because my boyfriend had to focus on his work and had no time to listen to me so by the time it was 6 pm, I burst into tears. I felt so sad and angry at the same time.

As I don't want to waste more energy on all the shitty lack of communication and the totally pointless moments of contact with other people, I have not even mentioned everything that went down that day. I could not understand how there's such a big lack of proper management in such an organization where so many animals need help and people are opening their homes to do their part in the process. You are doing something wrong if it means the foster families are being drained because of the communication being managed poorly.

I felt like a puppet being told what to do

And just having to comply, while this was not meant this way, all the things added made me feel that our time was not valued at all and we were supposed to fly from A to B for the tiny things that could also be arranged upfront and at once. I will save you the details but it had to be pretty stressful for me to shut down my phone to flight mode as I never do this!

I even said we won't accept this treatment for the rest of the pick-ups because it's taking up all my energy and time and we also have a life of our own. I got pretty mad but I swallowed most of my thoughts because I didn't want this negative energy to stick with me another day. I was never going to say pick up these kittens or anything but I wanted to make it clear that this is not how we roll. We are here to help the kittens and we love doing so, but the management around this situation needs to understand we are volunteers and can't be bossed around (it felt like that) for every tiny thing that needs to be done.

In my professional life, I can't stand management like this either and it would be a reason to quit my job, in fact it has happened several times that I resigned while being on a good salary simply to release myself from the stress about something that I could not change myself. It's a good lesson that even in these organizations this happens, not just with paid positions.

We went to the beach

I had to get out of this house, I was fed up being inside and I didn't even care where we'd go, just out and feeling the wind on my head was enough. We drove to the next town where we found a new spot we had never been to and sat on the boulevard right on the beach. The sun was shining, the waves of the ocean were super relaxing and it did not take long for me to feel the stress being released. I did not even have to vent much at that time, just listening to the waves and having the sun on my face was enough. We had a drink and a few tapas before we went home to the kittens who were happily waiting for us to cuddle them.

Communication went much smoother

Although this was actually part of the next day, I want to have this topic rounded up in this post to focus on the nice stuff again in the next part. I can tell you that the next day things went a bit smoother and even though the pickup time was changed again last minute (she still needed to be chipped) I didn't let this situation get the best of me anymore.

I hope that things will be smooth from now on and that there will only be a regular human error here and there, as in life nothing will always go smoothly. So far, it's been a smooth ride since. This is great because I truly want to focus on helping the cats and not get sick of this after one ride. I do think we will aim for just a few next time though, to make it a bit easier in case any parasites pop up again, lol.

The next part will be all rainbows and sunshine again!

The Bundle Of Beans Diaries - Day 11 - Not All Rainbows And Sunshine