Self reflections through barricade
A few weeks ago I went through some of the most testing phase on the chain and when I looked around, I couldn't see some of the people I'd regularly see on a daily basis asking real-time questions, or showing concerns as to what is really happening, it felt surreal, it was like the proverbial story of Jesus being kissed by Judas for 30 pieces of silver, or better still, the cock crowing three times before midnight and Jesus being betrayed three times by Peter.
One thing I learned from this biblical allusion was that Jesus' name actually preceded him, the persona behind the name was just a regular man with the divine spirit of God the Son inside him. Jesus was all flesh and blood, so he was susceptible to temptations, trials and challenges even if his persona and reputations suggested otherwise, he was afraid of death at the last hour, this might feel a bit "weak" but he was actually afraid of death because he was a spirit in the body of a human. Did you see the mention of the word "human"?
Sometimes in life, when the reputation of a person precedes them, they're expected to be infallible, perfect or immune to human emotions. These expectations make these people want to live beyond some unthinkable standards, making them make human mistakes or revealing a humane side to them.
The truth is, I've been on this chain for quite a long time now developing and growing with it, sometimes I look at how I have managed to blend with the constant evolving of the activities and development in relativity to having real-time struggles and real time financial issues and I think it can only be phenomenal.
If I begin to measure the risk and price of consistency then I'll have to show you the opportunity costs. The life lost, the times spent on self development, the less value I've had to equate to a degree (rightly so, but not the risk a lot of people would be willing to take) and a lot.
The focal point is, people see a trophy or poster boy who has everything he needs and didn't need to fight for anything. They see am extremely wealthy person who is lucky to be at that position, but I've always talked about reputation.
Reputation is an aspect of us that isn't really us, it is like a beacon that shoots far into the night, people tend to see these beacons, they're marvelled by it and as a result of being lost in all that beauty, they forget to even question the source of the beacon. When it comes to reputation, It's the first part of us that people tends to see immediately they get to have a first impression of us.
They use this to actually judge a person rather than using second or third or even the last impression. For this, I've been thoroughly disappointed. Over the course of those few weeks, I've felt extremely empty, despite being in the midst of people who would consider themselves comrades to me.
However, personality differs from reputation, while personality is the real representation of a person, reputation is the concocted or deified version of that person. This is why we have people in real life who are suffering depression.
On social media they're deemed to be perfect, they have an entity, an avatar that tells a different version of story of whom they originally are and this isn't just misplaced but somewhat unfair in the grander scheme of things. This is to so that, I've personally undergone my own version of depression, what made it difficult was being in the midst of many people who closed their doors or feigned ignorance.
It still reminded me of the fact metal and plastic are solid in their usual forms until heat is applied, and then the difference begins to show. I was a situation that reminded me that I might be surrounded by more plastics and less metals and it felt incredible to walk on a journey alone with lots of emotions flooding through me.
Nevertheless, we learn, relearn and unlearn, sometimes we equate invincibility to ourselves because it's a characteristic of the reputation we often embody, this is because we cannot change the impression of the reputation we actually carry, it's what people tend to see.
A lot of people have looked wrongly on my member, as only a few people knows the real-time challenges, the breakdown and the pain of trying to live up to expectations. But then, people would probably keep seeing a side to one's reputation that isn't entirely pleasing no matter one's attempt to do right.
However it is, I've been right disappointed to go through things alone, walk my path of shame and lived the pain of unfair repercussion. To the few who has stood by me, I am immensely grateful.
Interested in some more of my works?
People & Assets: A Probable Investment?
Emotions: The Impressions & Expression
War-torned (An Original Poem)
Sunk Cost On Limited Resources & Time
Crypto: An Aspect Into Personal Finance
My name is @Josediccus, a young Nigerian entrepreneur who is a Vlogger, A Psychologist, Poet, Sports Writer/Analyst & Personal Finance Coach. I'm using my contents as a process to create shared meaning as well as create expressions through which people on/off hive can relate. I believe content is a process to be enjoyed and relished and I'm up for any collaborations in my field stated above. Cheers
@Josediccus, your brother-in-pen & heart
I'm hoping to reach more people who are broken at heart and spirit, so share on any platform or reblog